How Do I Put This Gingerly?(I Don’t Want Your Friendship Bread!)

by cobaltandrising

(Just when you were thinking this was going to be a blog chock full of whimsy, spiritual observation and insight…) 

So today I slaved away making two loaves of bread that I really didn’t want to make, certainly didn’t have time to make, and perhaps won’t even eat (depending on how bad/good of a bread maker I am).  In honor of already having invested 10 days in these loaves of bread, I am going to pass along 10 facts about my Amish Friendship Bread:

Fact 1: I have invested 10 days in this bread already.   I know I just told you this, but seriously people, feel my pain!

Fact 2: I did not ask for a friendship bread starter mix…it showed up on my doorstep anyway.

Fact 3: I must now find three of my nearest and dearest to pass along the remnants of the oohey-gooey starter mix.

Fact 4: I’m pretty sure I have no friends who will actually take said starter mixes, nurse them for 10 days, make some bread and then find other friends to torture by passing off more starter mixes.  The thought of finding three friends to do this to is causing MUCH consternation at this moment.

Fact 5: If you are reading this and hear your doorbell, you should not open the door for fear that I will shove a plastic baggie your way and run like Forrest.

Fact 6: If indeed you are my friend, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, give me a plastic baggie full of smelly, yeasty mix.  Friends don’t give friends starter mixes; we go for manicures and margaritas instead.

Fact 7: Should my sweet neighbor who delivered the unholy, unfriendly gift to me be reading this…then please know it was a really kind gesture…and the bread is baking as I write…and if it actually works out okay I just may get over it all and nurse the next dang starter mix for another ten days.  Or not.  But, still, it really was thoughtful of you!!!

Fact 8:  Amish Friendship Bread = Chain letter.   Which leads me right back to Fact 6.

Fact 9:  Amish women must have waaaaaaaaaaay more time on their hands than I do.

And now, drum roll please…

Fact 10: “Only the Amish know how to make the starter, so if you give away all the bags, then you will have to wait until someone gives you a bag of starter.”  Conspiracy of all conspiracies!  (Google is an amazing thing…especially when you want to find the recipe for “Amish Friendship Bread Starter”.)

And now that I have spouted and not enriched your day in the least, I must go taste some bread!